����������� Book Four, Chapter Three, �Conversations in the Ether�
In which our heroes spend an inordinate amount of time squabbling with each other over the Ether, or should that be Ethernet?
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From : The Universe
Dear All,
EPs Aruth 5000, Martin and Zytsi Zytsi (or however you spell it) 4500 and Danny 4000. I have downgraded them slightly because of the minor error in destroying the wrong city. I know some of you may consider this harsh but having thought about it I believe you had enough information to work it out, indeed Danny put forward the theory at one point but no one paid him no mind, perhaps he should be a little more assertive at times.
I am prepared as usual to listen to whinges but I don't hold out much hope, getting other player support helps but not much.
Cheers
����������� The Universe.
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From : Sir Martyn Yanyez De Barbudo
Evidence:
I told them we sought the eye of Kor. Presumably they mistook "Kor" for "squiggledebop", or whatever else their god is called. And they apparently didn't know the name of the god of the enemy city, despite the obvious connections (gem, warhammer etc).
I told them the gem we sought was red. Perhaps they're red-blue colour blind.
I explained our quest, to make sure they understood we were the "good" guys
I offered to perform a quest for them, in exchange for help with our quest. They failed to offer us the obvious one.�
I told them we would rather fail in our quest than destroy their city. (True at the time).
�
After all this they chose to misunderstand. They had a damned sight more information about what was going on than we did.
�
We then sought guidance from Larani. At such times Larani has the option of sending clear guidance or not. Her guidance guided us towards destroying the city, after I personally had decided death by broken Quest was preferable. She's all powerful and incapable of error.
�
In conclusion, one of two things is to blame for the city incident.
�
1. The people of the city were so stupid that even given all the facts they failed to figure out what to do. If so, they were a sub-standard species and natural selection would have got them in the end anyway. It was their own fault.
�
2. The people were influenced to deliberately miss the point by an external agency - likely candidates being The Hammer, Larani, Kor, Agrik, Morgath and Naveh (in that order).� Motives unknown, but almost certainly intended to make us feel bad and/or besmirch our reputation. They killed thousands to achieve this.
�
The verdict:
�
The second of these is the most likely.
�
It wasn't our fault, and we are handing victory to those responsible by worrying about it or allowing it to damage our reputation. We cannot allow the deaths to be in vain. We are all ordered to not worry about it again. Not to speak of it again. It never happened. It is to be stricken from the records as invalid.� All must swear to this (especially the Bard).
�
If the destruction of the city becomes known (which I hope never happens), then it was caused by enemy action. We were unable to stop it, despite all our efforts. This is truth.
�
This however is not justice. The deaths of the citizens of the City must be avenged. As we cannot tell anyone else, it falls to us to exact that revenge.� The forces that worked to destroy the city worked to the advantage of the other "evil" city and were clearly in league with it.� Our vengeance must correct that advantage. Justice must be done.
�
The use of unnecessary violence in the seeking of the eye of Kor, up to and preferably including the complete destruction of the evil city, has been approved.
�
Disclaimer: It might seem from this that I'm accusing Larani of high crimes. Not so. In conducting this investigation it is essential to put aside religious considerations and consider only the evidence. The evidence partly points her way, but if she was in any way responsible, from a religious point of view it was certainly part of a higher order plan we mortals are incapable of understanding, and must play our roles in without hesitation.
�
All records of this investigation are to be destroyed.
�
The matter is now closed.
EP whinge: Give 500 of mine to Danny. He's making progress.
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From : Daniel
Yeah verily did the Evil Demons, those vile Net Servers and ISPs and other related creatures of Agrik, cause much destruction and damage to your scribe's e-mail system. And Lo! it was fixed and messages started appearing. But...........
I have a long e-mail from Sir Martyn (which I'll read tonight) but it has a message from The Universe at the end which I didn't get.
����������� Daniel
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From :� Aruth
Dear Universe,
(a) I'm only the driver
(b) I told anyone who would listen "no more Mr Nice Guy" the second(? I lose track) time we were slung in jail
(c) I'm skint, what about some treasure
(d) I'm only the driver
(e) have I told you about the amazing paint job on my wagon this Khuzdul did?
(f) I'm only the driver
cheers
����������� The Driver
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From : Daniel
Daniel the oft-ignored bard says �Well yeah, they did ignore me. They did do that, but it was fair. I mean, I�m not a brave and noble Hero, or even much of a warrior really. So why should they listen to me? It goes against all the fundamental beliefs of the purveyors of gratuitous violence to the masses of Harn to actually listen to someone who can�t single handedly disembowel fifty Gargun before breakfast. Very fair I thought. Anyway if there is one thing I have noticed over the years of the great unfolding of this saga it is that being assertive to Sir Martyn Da-dada-da is not conducive to making him listen to anyone else.� Sound of a bard ducking beneath a table as a sword whistles close by his ear. �And neither is misplaced humour. Hey, don�t hit me, I�m only the lute player.�
To add my half penny�s worth to the discussion I should like to point out that I specifically asked the Universe if their were any stories or tales of Undersea Races. There apparently aren�t any, but maybe I wasn�t being assertive enough. Of course this was before we went down to the city, and found one. And now Sir Martyn tells us there are in fact two races, and two cities. Hey I�m supposed to know things like that, and if I don�t they are either non-existent or extremely obscure. I got skills in that sort of thing, or can I derive them, or at any rate I think I have and can. And if I haven�t, then what are the skills needed ? Of course they could be from another plane ! I don�t claim to have skills or knowledge of them, other seeing Sir Martyn lose a hand and a foot of course. And now a city full of humanoid slugs under the sea near Harn.
And here is an excerpt from the latest episode UNEDITED :-
����������� New plan Aruth casts Speech (rank 4) on Sir Martyn and he talks to them. He goes forward, six guards now. �Halt and state your business in the city of Ridow.�
�We are on a mission from the Goddess Larani�
�We know of no such Goddess.�
�We seek the Eye of Kor.�
�We have never heard of such a thing.�
����������� He is speaking to one that wasn�t there before. He goes off and comes back with one of them in blue robes who speaks. �Well follower of false goddess.� Not a good start. Sir Martyn gives the standard quest spiel, elf demon version complete with the Eye of Kor. �So you�ve come to cause the destruction of our city.� They run back inside. Sir Martyn rejoins the party.
End excerpt. I wish I�d continued and tried to get the whole conversation, but I can�t type that fast. Which is why you get the beginning and then a quick pr�cis. Hey, don�t shoot me, I�m only the lute player.
It is an interesting conundrum. Perhaps if Sir Martyn is worried about the guidance he is gaining from Larani then he may like to consider calling upon the Shieldmaiden of the Worthy Cause in Her aspect of �the Lady of Paladins�, rather than Her more violent aspect of �the Terrible Lady of the Flowing Red�.
(Learned footnote: The Shieldmaiden of the Worthy Cause would appear to be a poetic reference to, rather than a separate aspect of, Larani. While the Lady of Paladins and the Terrible Lady of the Flowing Red are distinct and separate aspects of this War Goddess.)
I am surprised in several ways by the reference to the censorship of the destruction of the city in the saga.
1) The inhabitants were not Human, Khuzdul or Sindarin. They came from some other strange plane, and by destroying the gem they either died, or were returned there, or both. Who is going to be worried about the destruction of city full of other planer beings ? All right there may be a few bleeding hearts who will, but you�ll know who they are in advance. They�ll be the ones that mourn the destruction of a Gargun lair. These undersea creatures could well have been the creations of Lothrim.
2) If Larani knows about the city, whose to say that others of the Gods don�t also know of it. What if Agrik knew and Sir Martyn pissed Him off one day ? A quick dream to the right person at the right time and the full story is all over the place. If you�ve covered it up you must have something to hide, and are therefore guilty of something in the eyes of the populace.
3) Why are you worried about this particular atrocity, and not any of the others ? Such as stringing the Solori with the guise of the Man who comes from the South bearing a Sword, and then not aiding them ? (There is some unfinished business by the way.) The butchery of some hapless native women and children whose only crime was to be the family of warriors who had effectively committed suicide by attacking the Khuzdul Royal Guard. The wholesale destruction of a Gargun community. Not that I object the last, if I had a bleeding heart I wouldn�t have been the appointed bard.
But what is so different ? Why get all worked up over a bunch of humanoid slugs. I think what Sir Martyn is doing to the Solori is worse. Hey, don�t shoot me, I�m only the lute player.
If I may be so bold, how come the Submarine Captain gets the least EPs ? I did my part - even after I took the 8 points per round shark bite. I must have had an �interesting time� as I used up a one off re-roll-that-dice, get-out-jail-free cards, er nightingales. My last one I believe. I piloted the submarine, I got us into it before the dome cracked and the sea avalanched in. Its not my fault they don�t listen to me, I�m not a Fighter.
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
God, don't these Bards ever shut up.
Zytsi
PS. Seriously Daniel, excellent mail, made me laugh out loud a few times.
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From : Sir Martyn Yanyez De Barbudo
Sir Martyn would like to congratulate Danny on his most excellent performance in recent missions. I agree that not being able to disembowel fifty Gargun before breakfast is a major impediment to your credibility, and consequently we don't listen enough to your sage advice. I do have a plan in place to deal with this injustice - it involves upgrading your capability to at least half a dozen Gargun disembowelments. You just need a couple more levels to get access to radius effect songs, more kit, and a bit more OB, and Bartoc's your uncle. I will make an Unwilling Warrior out of you, in true Larani tradition.
In fact I'd like to congratulate the whole team on the most smooth and efficient military operation we've ever mounted. The smoothness of it alone is a sure proof that malign forces were aiding us. When before have guards so consistently not looked our way? Not heard cries of alarm or the sounds of battle? Failed to pepper us with missile fire? Larani never gave us such an easy ride. Sadly we are not going to be able to boast about it.
I can't agree that this recent atrocity is comparable with any past events. We have definitely moved up a league. Not since the fall of Kiraz has an entire city, even of slug people been wiped out. We cannot allow the forces of evil to succeed in burdening us with the guilt of this deed. Hence my judgement, which, by the way, is legally binding, being handed down by a duly constituted manorial court (i.e. me). The penalties for breaking the conditions of the judgement are the usual - flogging, hanging etc. Appeal against is possible by going to the head of my order, but such appeals are usually fatal, and even if successful, you would have committed a capital offence (by breaking the judgement) in stating your case.
So, the events are to be forgotten. Danny, thank you for your contribution - now shut up.
Sir Martyn Da-dada-da
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From :� Aruth
Universe,
> PS. Seriously Daniel , excellent mail, made me laugh out loud a few times.
Likewise. Surely worth some EPs for story telling?
cheers
����������� Aruth
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
.
The "I'm only the driver" bit doesn't wash anymore, Aruth. Yes, it's true, if you happened to be used to drivers who are the most devastating Magic Users ever seen in Harn.
Zee
P.S Have you seen my Hammer. It's better than your paint job.
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
And now my two silvers worth.
�
The major problem resulting in us destroying the wrong city was basically .... Harn. We have spent years working at day jobs, scrabbling around in the dust for a +5 sword, getting excited over finding 100 silvers here and 100 silvers there. So, when we find a fabled lost sunken city, the first thing that leaps into a Harnic persons mind is NOT "I wonder if there's another one round the corner".
�
GM, you may have heard legends of the lost city of Atlantis. If you were actually to find a sunken city in the middle of the Atlantic ocean and it happened to be the wrong colour, would you naturally assume that it was the wrong fabled sunken city or that the legends were wrong ?
�
Yes, the evidence was there, but it's HARN. You don't get 2 cities. You just don't.
�
Regards,
Zytsi
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
My Lord Martyn,
�
Personally I prefer point 1.
�
I have found Harbal�s Hammer, and nothing is going to ruin that for me. It is a legendary Khuzdulese artifact and when I return it in triumph to Azadmere they are going to want to know how I came to find it. And I am going to tell them. You cannot forbid me. I did not vote for you.
�
Besides, you are Sir Martyn, glorious chosen paladin of our Lady of the Flowing Red. She watches your every move and her hand is at your every action. This, in some strange way, was meant to happen. Do not be a wimp. Do not shrink away from your actions like some elf. You are chosen from God, you need not apologise, you are fate's hand in action.
�
I say fuck 'em. Bring on the next city, if it thinks it's hard enough.
�
Zytsi
"The dwarf makes them and the dwarf taketh away"
�
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From :� Aruth
> Zee
> P.S Have you seen my Hammer. It's better than your paint job.
How much treasure can you carry on your hammer, eh? Ever been hit by a wagon at full speed? Any chance of getting a goat to fight from the back of your hammer?
����������� Aruth
PS I really wasn't joking about the treasure, I now have precisely 4 times as much dosh to my name as when I started as a nipper i.e. I now have 24 pence. OK, so I got better boots now (mumble and some other bits mumble). Can't His Grumpiness find us somebody �rich� and evil for a change?
PPS I'm willing to be bribed to keep quiet. Couple of thou should do it.
PPPS If I'm such a tough Magic User how come I'm not rich beyond my wildest dreams (and I've being trying quite hard in the dreaming department)? Oh, sorry, I forgot this is Harn and we are being led by a righteous nutter. I expect I will be flogged, dunked and then executed for that and then His Lordship will have to vanquish someone else to make up for it.
PPPPS Anyone notice that it doesn't seem to be raining as much these days? Bad sign if you ask me.
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
If you turned up to all the adventures you would have more treasure (miaoow)
Zytsi
PS. I can you tell it isn't raining when you're underwater committing genocide ?
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From : Sir Martyn Yanyez De Barbudo
Fine. I clearly can't hang all the party members. I'd have no-one left to be rude to. If you want to blab go ahead.� But be warned, Harn has not quite shredded every strand of idealism from me yet. I'm finding it really hard to live with what we've done. I can't go round claiming to be a Paladin of Larani if I've a reputation for genocide. Larani Paladins just don't do such things. Well I don't anyway. I was hoping that by making the incident "not happen", I could eventually forget about it. Clearly this is not possible. The bad guys have won. I must "consider my position". I'll quit the Order once I get back to Harn.
�
No matter. Freed of religious constraints I can spend the rest of my days attempting to live up to my new reputation. Like Kuzdul says - bring on the next city.....
�
And let's nick all the loot before we trash the place.
�
And then there's a certain very attractive priestess I've had my eye on....
�
Sir Martyn
"The Dwarf makes them and they fucking break the first time you use them".
�
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
Oh dear. Sir Martyn is having a crisis of faith. I have to admit I was fairly pissed off when we realised we'd trashed an innocent 'good' city. But like you said, we gave them every chance, it's not our fault we were so damned efficient. And I refuse to have my 'quest' ruined by the genocide of a race of people who no-one knows existed.
You must not quit the Order Sir Martyn, I will not let it happen. My story to the Khuzdul will be edited to play down the 'innocent' nature of the city we destroyed. And 'kids happily gambolling in the park' will certainly not be a part of it. Surrounded by 100's of furious city guards will be high up there though.
Larani is testing you. Do not give in. Nick the treasure certainly, shag the priestess if you want, but do not forsake Larani just yet.
�
Zytsi
P.S. a) You're using it wrong and b) if you buy a mounted weapon from a race that doesn't ride then you deserve everything you get ...
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From :� Aruth
> PS. I can you tell it isn't raining when you're underwater committing genocide ?
'Cos I was dry at the time. QED. :-).
����������� Aruth
QED = Quite easily distracted, especially by treasure.
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
I get the distinct impression you are developing an unhealthy treasure fixation ... here, take this poultice and rub it on the affected parts twice a day ....... it won't help, but it'll take your mind off treasure while
you're doing it.
Regards,
Zytsi
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From :� Aruth
> P.S. a) You're using it wrong and b) if you buy a mounted weapon from a race that doesn't ride then you deserve everything you get ...
The warranty has run out, you can't get the parts for these models, not much call for it these days, haven't seen one of these still working for years, goat droppings will do that every time, might squeeze it in next Thursday week, it's in the small print at the back, how much gold have you got on you?
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
Ooooh dear, its a 722 model. Notoriously unreliable. You see this wood in the shaft, Elvish oak, see, harvested in 721. Wrong type of rain that year for good Khuzdulese oak, so we had to use inferior Elvish stuff for the un-important weapons. What you want is a 720 Skewer Special, hang on, I think I've got a brochure somewhere .... here it is ..
"Finding it difficult to reach those inaccessible parts with your trusty axe or hammer ? What you need is a 720 Skewer Special. With its shaft made from the superior Azad 'Mighty' Oak and tipped with the finest tempered Khuzdul steel, hand forged by craftsman with over 2000 years of weapon making experience, this really is the lance for the discerning buyer. But don't trust us, hear what our customers have to say:
'I wouldn't go on a Gargun hunt with anything else. They don't like it up 'em, you see.' - Garhag of Ajaquag
'This little beauty has never let me down when it counts. Peasant Kebab anyone ?' - Sir Harold Gustier of the Noble Order of Mean Fighting Bastards (real name changed to avoid litigation)
'Since purchasing my Skewer Special my beard has noticeably got bushier' - Domod of Tirwad
Each one signed by the Weaponsmith, individually tested on 3 different sorts of Gargun and rejected if death does not result from 'a damn good skewering'.
Guaranteed not to break in combat (providing you follow the makers guidelines). Available in a choice of colours. Not suitable for children under 36 months."
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From :� Aruth
Khuzdul says "unhealthy treasure fixation". And he thinks I'm ill.
Mind you, the poultice does wonders for the swelling.
cheers
����������� Aruth
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
>Khuzdul says "unhealthy treasure fixation". And he thinks I'm ill.
Absolutely. I have a 'healthy' treasure fixation, thank you very much.
And by the way, will you people stop referring to me as 'Khuzdul'. Sir Martyn, this means you too.
1) That is the name of my race. �My� name is Zytsi. Please use it.
2) Even if it were polite (which it is not) the correct term would be 'The Khuzdul says:'
3) Note that it is spelt 'Khuzdul' not Kuzdul.
The equivalent would be me saying:
>Hooman says "And he thinks I'm ill."
I have taken the time and effort to learn your language to your standards, you can at least learn to use my given name.
Things from our lands, or our language, are 'Khuzan' or 'Khuzdulese'. The term 'Dwarf' or 'Home-dwarf' (Homie for short) is sometimes used as a term of respect, but only from other Khuzdul. It is insulting to be called such by non-Khuzdul and is, in the case of elves, just cause for the outbreak of war. But I've already told you too much about our language and customs and may be forced to kill you at a later date.
Now, show some fuckin' respect before I Earthquake your head!� (ooh, that does sound good |-) )
Zytsi
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From : Sir Martyn Yanyez De Barbudo
I've heard different:
"The problem with Dwarven workmanship is all down to size. If a so called dwarven "magic weapon" is longer than 4'6" your average dwarf can't polish the end properly - he just can't reach. If you then try to stick it in to something that's really big, one in twenty times you get a nasty crack and you've got your end off. It's a statistical fact." Sir Hugh Jorgan.
"They don't like it up 'em Mr Dwarfwearing." Ben Dover
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From : Daniel
����������� I thank you for sending me copies of the lively and interesting exchange which has been taking place, and I would like to take this opportunity to assure you all that the next chapter of the saga is well under way. It naturally features much angst and heart searching by the noble Erana Sir Martyn Yanyez De Barbudo, and much wit and sparkling repartee between the famous Khuzdul mason Zytsi of Orinane and Aruth Hempstead of the Khuzan War Wagon. Nice paint job by the way.
����������� I notice that Macrosloth, who must be one of the Lesser Gytevsha of Naveh, has cursed the lines of communication with Sir Martyn. This servitor of the Master of Deceit and Evil Dreams is turning Sir Martyn�s words blue! This is an appalling Outlook. I myself experience the problem if I reply to messages, rather than originating or forwarding them. Do any of my worthy colleagues know how to use the Word of MacroSloth to change font colour ?
����������� Another problem has been that those vile Net Servers and ISP Daemons of Morgath have carried off some of your original messages. However the missing texts can easily be recovered from other messages. They will be assembled in order, edited to remove unnecessary duplication, and compiled into one complete whole. It promises to be a most interesting read!
����������� Regretfully I do feel that I must point out to Sir Martyn that there is a difference between Unwilling Warriors and crap ones. I have to confess that no matter what I do I am not so much an Unwilling Warrior as a crap one. My aim in combat is to be standing at the end, not to kill as many of the enemy as possible. I�m a singer and lute player, an itinerant teller of tales and a traveller of the length and breadth of Harn, a Companion to Heroes. Being a warrior isn�t in the job description, so my best attempt will always be a crap one no matter what I do. However going on a great deal is in my job description.
����������� To return to the matter under discussion, I think that it may well be worth reviewing a few other things with the benefit of hindsight.
Here we have an undersea city domed with a force field. It comes complete with an undersea tunnel reaching an underground cavern on the nearby island. This last implies contact with the outside world of some sort. Now the force wall tunnel was broken in the middle, and the break was patrolled (more of that later). We found it possible to cross this break, so we can assume others can also do so. The fact that the city�s inhabitants could not do this we did not know until the sea flooded the city and the slug people dissolved in the salt water. Hardly an Achilles� Heel that we have the remotest chance of considering for the inhabitants of an undersea city. So they wouldn�t have been able to use it in recent times, but it was patrolled which implies someone does use it.
There were guards outside the gate, who Sir Martyn talked to. You don�t put guards outside of a gate unless you expect regular traffic. You need them there to talk to, and to vet, whoever wants entrance to your city. This could be just local fishermen and patrols, which is what I assumed. Of course now I know that this could not have been the case. Now we see it implies regular friendly contact with someone else. Who are, and where are, these others? I can imagine that they might be a bit upset with us.
Was the other planar race of slug people the original builders, or did they take-over a pre-existing city? In the latter case, who were the original people? The tunnel implies contact with the outside world at some point. Perhaps with Lothrim the Foulspawner, or the Temple of Ilvir, or perhaps even with the Earthmasters. It implies that somewhere on Harn someone, somewhere, at sometime knew of the existence of this city. Of course this could have been a long time ago. Though I did try to find out more about the city before we went there, I cannot claim to have been systematic about it. I suggest that we go to Melderyn and I research the island and the city(s) in the libraries in Cherafir. Until this has happened I suggest that we avoid mentioning the affair, just say we found a strange situation that requires further investigation. I do not believe that pretending nothing happened is feasible in the long term, and in fact may end up doing us more harm than good. We have no way of knowing whether or not someone currently knows of the city, other than the four of us, Larani and anyone who has heard of the Zytsi�s legendary Hammer .
It also occurs to me that we know little or nothing about Harble, apart from the fact that Zytsi now has his Hammer. How did the story become known about? Someone must have known that Harble had destroyed a city here. And exactly which city did he actually destroy? I think that this is also something worth searching for in the libraries of Cherafir. Perhaps more clues could be found in that way.
It might be said, when the story gets out, that there were clues to the real situation that we ignored. Such as the fact that the city was heavily guarded, with high walls and many patrols of guards. Should that have alerted us to something? It�s a city, cities have high walls and many patrols of guards. To anyone from Harn it would be worthy of note if a city didn�t have them. I had assumed that all the external shark patrols (at least one of which had something else with them) were organised by the city. It made perfect sense for the inhabitants to have them. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, now it�s obvious that the shark patrols couldn�t have sent out by the slug people.
The only really unusual thing was the trapping of the gardens the other side of the city walls. Unfortunately by then we were committed to a course of action with speed of the essence and with little time for anything else. When you are invading a city do you stop and consider the social and cultural implications of strange and unusual perimeter defences? Or do you shrug and push on before a patrol finds the bodies some guards you killed? As a city defence it is bizarre from any viewpoint, as it is far more likely to get the inhabitants, mostly likely inquisitive children, than any invaders.
And now to the crux of the matter. The only way that we know what was supposed to happen in the central temple is what Sir Martyn saw in his Larani-sent Dream. What he told us would be there differed in the details from what we actually found there. But not in the generalities. We had to be in the Temple in front of a Statue with a Gem in its forehead and a Hammer in its hands. I had assumed that if we were to try to prise loose the gem from the statue, or something similar, then things would change. The sea would come in, the Statue would transform from passive to active mode, as symbolised by the change in the Gem colour, and the Hammer would be encased in stone. Such in place duality may be expected from something associated with the Eye of Kor. After all we were quested to retrieve it by the Sindarin and Demon known as either Daelda or Adlead, depending on the time of the day.
The difference in Temple colouration could easily be explained by the city now being underwater.� The sea coming in to the city should have been an annoyance to an undersea race. How were we to know it would be fatal to them ! Of course once we got there we had no time to do anything other than carry out our original plan. With all the city and temple guards baying for our blood there was no time for second thoughts, just for actions. Even so, as Zytsi has pointed out, Larani could have told us to stop just before that final moment of mass destruction. He used a Larani given ability to see the outcome of his next action, which was to destroy the gem in the statue. If Larani wanted to she could have pointed out he shouldn�t be doing it. She didn�t, so it was Her wish that the city was destroyed. Personally I think Zytsi should have smashed the statue not the gem, after all it was a gem we were after. But hindsight is a wonderful thing. And so died the city of the humanoid slugs from another dimension.
We are doing this because Larani wants us to do it. The city was destroyed because Larani wanted it destroyed. She wants to temper us in the fires of adversity. We must gird our loins, grit our teeth, and accept whatever Larani gives us.
As far as I am aware we are on a long and involved saga led by Sir Martyn, who draws his inspiration more or less directly from the Goddess Larani Herself. It is composed of several lesser quests, and this current dual one seems to be generating a certain amount of acrimony. Who knows, this may be Larani�s test of faith for Sir Martyn and Zytsi! Perhaps they should meditate on the life of Saint Ambrathas of Alamire, the founder of Church of Larani. Is it not written �Ambrathas heard the goddess map out his future as her champion. Although he knew his inadequacy for the tasks she set him, he accepted the challenge.� I�m sure Sir Martyn should know the tale better than me. I only know the bare bones of the tale, not the religious spin on it.
(Learned footnote: the story of Saint Ambrathas of Alamire is to be found in Gods of Harn, the Libram of the Pantheon, Book Five - Larani, Chapter Eight - Early Church, Verses 1 to 3 - Saint Ambrathas of Alamire. For those without access to this tome here is a Bardic summary.
Introduction - standard wandering knight.
Plot development one - rescue of innocent traveller from enemies, damsel in distress variant.
Plot continuation one - the return journey, seven-fold attack variation.
Plot climax one - the traveller is not who he/she claims to be, Deity in disguise version.
Plot development two - taking of the enemy fortress, knightly valour variant.
Plot continuation two - foundation of the Holy Church, military order variation.
Plot climax two - tragic death of hero, Larani version (glorious last stand against overwhelming odds ����������������������������� after sending all your friends and allies away)
Epilogue - standard martyr inspires church.
Well you can�t say I didn�t warn you. Obviously a Priest or Paladin would put a religious gloss on everything, but I don�t claim to know about that sort of thing. It�s a tale of knightly valour, popular in some parts of Harn, a part of the standard repertoire of a bard. I�ve no idea what the theological implications of it are, but you�re supposed to meditate on the lives of Saints. It�s a standard religious interlude, usable in quest tales, heroic epics, biographies, tragic love stories and the like.)
What I think, and I believe I said this at the Ridow conference, is that Sir Martyn and Zytsi might possibly like to consider that Larani�s more violent aspect of the Terrible Lady of the Flowing Red may be corrupting the pure light of Her visions to them. Or not, as the case may be. See a Priest for details. Its just that from the little I know of such things the Lady of Paladins might be a more appropriate aspect for a glorious and noble Holy Quest to save all of Harn from a Great Evil. Obviously you don�t have to take any notice of me as I can�t single handedly disembowel fifty Gargun before breakfast. It�s just that the accidental body count has now got rather high. If an easier road can be found for the Holy Quest to travel on then we may well yet be able to avoid the real tragedy of the destruction of a major Harnic city. It has got to be worth at least considering before we destroy too many more cities.
Perhaps once we have destroyed this other city, and retrieved the Eye of Kor, we should travel to Melderyn and the city of Cherafir to consult the records there. I have a few questions I�d like answers to. Exactly where did these slug people come from? Who were their enemies? Who were their friends? Who built the city(s)? Who encased the city in a force dome? And just who is going to take an interest in us now that the race(s) is dead and the city(s) in ruins? Exactly who was Harble, and which city did he destroy? Not forgetting either what is likely to happen if Daelda/Adlead is given the Eye of Kor? Another small question I think we should try to answer before we go ahead and actually do it! Getting a second opinion on that one may be useful.
Who knows where this trail will eventually lead. We�ve always known the next quest is for my lute, but nothing more about it. We assume that all will become clear at the appropriate time, that�s the way these things work. Perhaps things are becoming a bit more clear. It seems inappropriate that a Bardic Quest, even a Larani sent one, would involve the hack and slash of the warrior, or even the trips and traps of the thief. Perhaps it starts as a search for information about an undersea city and its slug people. And, of course, its evil twin city that is inhabited by a race of humanoid sea slugs, who are destroyed by fresh water.
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From :� Aruth
Daniel,
Excellent! The Driver also votes for some investigation of records unless Sir Martyn suddenly allowed a better quality of vision by The Lady.
Regarding "The Word Is Mightier Than The Sword But Not Bill Many-Portals, Who Shall Smite His Competitors By Showering Them With Gold Until They Hand Over The Goods" (I live in hope). An easy(!) way is:
- right-click on the tool bar at the top of Word (usually has at least the incomprehensible icons for save, print copy, paste etc). The grey bit to the right of the menus will also work.
- select "Formatting" to ensure you have a line of icons which includes a letter A underlined in red.
- select your devilish blue text.
- click the down triangle to the right off the underlined A
- select Automatic (should undo the blue) or the black blob.
There are, of course, 49 billion other ways of achieving the same task. It is rumoured that if all of these are named then Windows will suddenly cease to be. I'm working on it ...
cheers
����������� Aruth
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
Larani Save Us! Don't you ever shut up!
A lengthy diatribe if ever I heard one.
I'm not quite sure why I found it impossible to interrupt or stop you the umpteenth time you went on about Cherafir and Sir Armpit of the Alamo or whoever it was! It must be the strong magics you weave into your tale-telling that render me powerless, stunned and held to 25% action while you drone on and on and on.
Now that your power seems to have released me, I have a couple of points to make.
I am firstly driven to build a fire out of you for using your dread arcane powers on us yet again!
But more seriously, I really don't see the point of journeying to Cherafir to sit around in dusty rooms leafing through books, while a lot of equally dusty old men wander around muttering strange things under their breath and turn my beard blue or something. You are not going to learn how to disembowel 50 gargun (spit!) before breakfast by sitting in a frikkin' library. The only way you are going to learn is by drill, fightin', marching up and down, more fightin' and more drill. And no bloody singing.
'sides, these slug people are all dead, their city is dissolved and we're about to wipe out their enemies. So who gives a damn who built it in the first place or what the hell their favourite colour was.
I'd also like to set the record straight that I �was� not aiming to smash the gem, I was trying to knock it out of its socket. Look, I didn't know the hammer would go off like a barrel of Khuzdulese excavating powder, I'd just got hold of the damn thing, OK! (and it's Harbal not Harble by the way)
But you are absolutely right about one thing, it was through Larani's gift of vision that I foresaw the whole event, she, in her infinite wisdom could have stopped me by sending a different vision. Therefore she wanted it to happen. Martyn, pay attention. It's not our fault.
You make some powerful arguments that the intricacies of the city defences, the patrols, the sea-water and so on lead us to the inevitable conclusion that this city is known about by Harnic inhabitants. But do not the God's move in mysterious ways, and is it not possible that the creators of our universe, in their infinite and mighty wisdom have overlooked certain details, and we should maybe not look too deeply (if you'll pardon the pun). Of course I may be doing our creators some injustice here for which I would most humbly grovel and beg forgiveness. Did I point out how mighty and wise our creators were by the way, and may I also point out, quite splendidly handsome and generous too.
I also note that you are praying to the Lords above for a quest that doesn't include mass savagery (a fine and noble tradition I might add) saying that you are but a simple banjo-plucker. But may I remind you that on Aruth�s quest we had to encounter many gargun to prove victorious. So I'm offering a counter prayer for double-violence with extra gargun please.
You also imply that I can't handle a city-destroying hammer, and that we should pussy foot around so as not to risk injuring any more 'innocent' people. Look, we're trying to save the whole goddamn world here remember. So, there might be the odd casualty, but on the whole its better than the alternative isn't it. That's why we're doing this shit. That, and for the money of course, thank you for that nudge Aruth, but I hadn't forgotten.
Our next stage, is not to go Melderyn or bloody Cherafir, its back to elf-land, and let's face it, if the hammer accidentally goes off there, well, it's no great loss is it. But yes, back to elf-land, consult the mumbles, back off back to Daelda, stick that gem up his arse, find your frikkin' banjo and then Panaga, your time is up! Yeeessss! Come on!
So, stop your whining, put on your combat-tights, and lets kick some fish-butt� ...
No .... don't point that lute at me ... don't start that singing again, I can't take anymore ... no, please ..... nooooo ...... !!
Zytsi
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From :� Aruth
> But more seriously, I really don't see the point of journeying to� Cherafir to sit around in dusty rooms >leafing through books, while a lot� of equally dusty old men wander around muttering strange things >under
Oh well, there goes a several comfortable nights under cover. Worth a try.
>Of course I may be doing our creators some� injustice here for which I would most humbly grovel and >beg forgiveness.� Did I point out how mighty and wise our creators were by the way, and� may I also >point out, quite splendidly handsome and generous too.
Likewise, naturally. Goes wiv out saying, squire.
>That, and for the money of course, thank you for that nudge Aruth, but I� hadn't forgotten.
You're welcome. I assumed that it was only a lack of opportunity that you hadn't mentioned it more often of late.
cheers
����������� Aruth
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From : Sir Martyn Yanyez De Barbudo
I have prayed for further guidance and has been shown the way expunge the guilt of Ridow. Larani has granted me a penance - the Penance of Darkness For one Year and one Day. I shall be bathed in the Light of Larani and be guided solely by her glorious visions.
So, if you notice me fumbling about wearing a rather fetching red and white checked blindfold, you'll know why.
Now lets cut the idle banter and go fishing.
Sir Martyn
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From : Zytsi of Orinane
So, instead of you living with the guilt, we've �all� got to live with you stumbling around with a hankie round your head. Yup, that's our Larani.
[slaps hand to forehead] Doh!
Actually, Larani told me your penance was to give me all your money ....
Well, alright, she didn't. But she didn't say you weren't to either!
Zytsi
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From : Daniel
>You also imply that I can't handle a city-destroying hammer,
It was not my intention to in any way state or imply any such thing. I can see with hindsight how my words could be interpreted as such. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing. I wish to categorically state that I intended no such insult. I did not in anyway intend to state or imply such a thing. If you feel that I have then I unreservedly apologise, without any equivocation and quibbling.
What I was saying, and obviously in a dreadful fashion open to misinterpretation, that the Holy Quest has led the party to commit ever greater atrocities. I do not think that this is the fault of any individual party member. Rather I think it is the fault of forces beyond our control, or even understanding. Namely the forces of the Almighty Gods Themselves. Larani is our inspiration and guide. It is She who leads us to do such things. The Terrible Lady of the Flowing Red obviously enjoys such blood baths. My point is that we are being forced into situations which are beyond our control. The destruction of the city, and the forthcoming destruction of its evil twin, are not our fault. The blame, if such is due as we can�t currently say for sure, lies with the Goddess Larani.
����������� Your much maligned bard.
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It�s a fair cop guv, but society is to blame. This is actually a collection of e-mails, edited to remove unnecessary duplication. Obviously the headers have been replaced with an indication of which character sent it. And all the stuff about trying to set a date for the next session has gone. Even so this is undoubtedly still the longest chapter so far.
I have changed the text only to correct some spellings, and change people�s names to the character�s names. This was done to stop the confusion with Martin, the player, and Martyn (often spelled Martin) the character. I was getting confused as to who said what after I removed the headers so I assumed that anyone else would have no chance.